"Not all of us can do great things. But we can do small things with great love."
Mother Teresa

Thursday, April 30, 2015

To Move or Not To Move

Hi Friends,
We live in the home we built shortly after we married 41 years ago. We brought our babies home to this house and it's the only house they lived in before they married and moved out. We have made lots of great memories here.



We planted little pine trees for both of our children.  I think it might have been Earth Day or something similar at school.  They each brought home a little paper cup holding a little twig that I never expected to live, but we planted them.   They have grown to be huge trees.  The pine closest to the house on the right side of this picture is our son's tree.



We have put alot of ourselves into this house and love it here.  At the same time, I feel an urge to move on. We are at a different time in our lives now.  I would like to be free of so much upkeep.  I want to feel comfortable and safe in a home where we can age in place. This house has stairs.  We have to go up a 1/2 flight of stairs to get to our bedroom and main bath.  We have to go down stairs another 1/2 flight to do laundry.  There is a huge lawn to mow and also snow removal in the winter.  I would like to move now, while we are physically able to pack and move.  It will only get harder as we age.

And money is tight for us right now.  I worked hard to get all our credit card debt paid off before I retired and we have managed to get ourselves back in the same situation.  Ugh!  We are now working to pay that off again.  If we sell our house we could use that money to pay off all our debt and save the rest for the emergency fund we should have.  I know I would feel less stressed by that.

This is where I want to live.  It is a nice senior independent living apartment.  We would be free of all the maintence and the yard work.   I would be happy with a couple pots of flowers on the patio.  You can't see it in the picture, but there is a marina and a beautiful park next to it.   It is within walking distance to my favorite book store/ café where my knitting group meets, and the farmers market in the summer.  It is close to both of my children.  Really, its close to everything in a small community!



But...Hubby says he wants to die in our home!  He does not even want to consider moving to a smaller one level house.  I think he is in denial that we are aging.  He did a lot of the finish work on this house when we built it and he is quite attached to it.

So....what to do?  I guess we stay awhile longer.  He has agreed that we will reevaluate every 2 years.  In the meantime, I am going to work on decluttering this place.  That way it won't be quite as overwhelming when we finally move.

Are you downsizing your home after retirement, or are you staying put?  If you have moved how do you feel about your decision?

 Til next time,
Peace

16 comments:

  1. Oh Marilyn I can so relate! I want to move too, for the very same reason you state, except we are debt free. My husband also does NOT want to move. He is very attached to this house. I'm tired of cleaning it. :-) An apartment in an independent facility sounds lovely to me. I have also been doing major decluttering because I don't want to face it all someday when I make be physically unable to do it. We can commiserate with each other. :-)
    Blessings,
    Betsy

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    1. So mice to know I am not alone Betsy!

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  2. Interesting! It seems that husbands are more attached to the houses than we are. It's that way here, too. Decluttering sounds like it's in order here as well. That at least is something we can accomplish, right?

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    1. That is interesting Judy. Let the decluttering begin!

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  3. Hi, Marilyn ! This is a problem faced by many couples when we reach a certain age. I think decluttering is a great idea because you'll be working towards your own goal and maybe, when you're finished, your husband will have changed his mind. I have moved many times but I think unless you are really rich, you cannot afford to face living in a house that needs a lot of work doing or stairs to clim. If you can afford to have people helping you with all that when you reach old age, it's very well but for ordinary people like us, the practical side must take over. I understand your husband though, he's put so much into this house but I think those retirement residences are the best way to settle down and face the future with serenity.... XXX

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    1. That's it exactly....serenity is what I want in my last years. Thanks for stopping by.

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  4. I also want a smaller, easier to care for one story home! Fortunately we plan to move across the country when my husband retires in 2 years. Unfortunately we have very different visions for our next home. Working on finding common ground although we both agree on single story so it is a start.

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    1. I really don't even want the upkeep of a house and yard anymore, but it would be a good compromise. Moving across country sounds like a great retirement adventure.

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  5. Seems like that is a common problem. We live in a big home and my husband could move to a smaller one in a second, but I love it and feel very sentimental about it. I wish you luck on your decision, de-cluttering is a great first step.
    Hugs,
    Meredith

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    1. It does seem to be a common problem....good to know we are not alone in this. You still have a little one to raise in your lovely home so enjoy it as long as possible. Thanks for stopping by. Hugs

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  6. We are moving across the country from Texas to Washington State in a few months. Hubby us retiring at the end of June. We haven't found the perfect house for us yet, and we waffle back and forth between smaller and bigger. Hubby wants a few acres, but I keep reminding him of the maintenance on something like that. What to do? We'll find out soon! Thank you for your visit and comment. I'll add you to my sidebar and definitely be back.

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    1. Thanks for stopping by Pammy Sue! We actually own 10 acres but most of it is wooded so there isn't any maintenance to speak of for most of it...just the lawn around the house and driveway. It depends on what you would do with those acres your husband wants. Hope you find the perfect place. Washington state is beautiful, sounds like a great place to retire.

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  7. We moved 8 months ago, following my husband's retirement. We had lived in our previous home for 14 years. It was a single story home on 1 acre and my husband was very attached to it, mainly because he had built an additional detached garage to house his bass boat. We are debt free and wanted to sell and buy without taking on any additional debt. The area we moved to was more costly and we had fewer choices in housing.
    We moved out of necessity to be nearer our daughter and family so that we could help care for our special needs granddaughter. While we moved to a larger single story house, we no longer have room for the boat to be stored here. It's now in storage at the lake.
    The move has been much more convenient for me, but I feel badly for my husband. I know it was the right thing for us ( smaller yard, closer to family as we age, etc) but he had a lot of fun puttering around in that garage with his boat.
    I think some men need that outdoor space and are lost without it.
    On the upside, it was wonderful to clear out all the clutter we had collected through the years!

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    1. Hi Glenda, I think you are right and my husband likes "his land". He is not a putterer outside and hates the yardwork but he still wants it...go figure? I'm glad you can be near and help with you granddaughter. We are able to spend lots of time with ours and that won't change no matter where we live. Thanks for stopping by.

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  8. This is a great blog thread. We are nearing retirement ,I'm 62 husband is 64. We live in a small house already but out 2 adult college age children still live with us. We have a lot of upkeep on house(it's old, ) and on 3 acres. We still have a mortgage and car loan( husbands for work, has to have). I go around and around as th whether we should sell and just rent when the time comes. I figure we've got 2 years to decide. It's tough to think about moving. I have decluttered, and our house is fairly minimalistic. But there's alway more. I would start the decluttering. You'll be surprised as you let go of things that detachment to things decreases. It may be the encouragement your husband needs.

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    1. Hi Christina, thanks for your comments. We also had adult children living with us for quite awhile. I believe that you are right and as we let things go it may be easier to let the house go. I am going to add your blog to my sidebar. Take care.

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